My mind is just messing with me these days. It’s filled with random thoughts all day and the moment I sit down to write about them BAM! it goes blank!

I’ll give this a try anyway.

One of the many thoughts that have been bothering me a lot these days is about this ‘person’. Not just any person..a friend. Not just any friend..a bestest best friend from school days.

My highschool memories would be incomplete if I don’t mention her. We had the best time together..shared our secrets, giggled and discussed our crushes, had our long phone conversations, studied when we had to, got good grades, made it into university. Although we got into different universities, we had made the same career choice.

It’s been 5 years since that time. We are on the verge of being labeled graduates now.
We didn’t get to meet up during those five years because we were in different countries.

Last five years were really hard on me. I did learn a lot..about people..about myself, but it did more harm than good. Perhaps, ignorance is indeed bliss.

Now, I’m not the kind of person who goes around complaining about how Change has been bothering them..and wished everything would stay just the way it is. I’m more of a person who believes Change is inevitable and indeed…a must. But sometimes you just can’t help asking – But why?

I took it for granted that five years didn’t change her much either. It was only after I met her that I realized NOTHING ever stays the same.

For some reason I felt the whole ‘let’s meet part’ was just for the sake of formality. I felt like she wanted to tell me “ know how the world works – Diplomatically! Now, I know you had given me your number weeks before I came and had literally begged me to call you when I land here but don’t worry, I have a perfectly good set of excuses for why I didn’t call you. I know..I know we haven’t seen each other for five years and that we know each other’s best kept secret from school days…but now I just don’t want to hang out with you anymore..BUT I’ll pretend like I do. You can still come and tell me about your life and I’ll bother listening but ya I won’t bother sharing much with you because I have other friends now..”

As childish as it may seem…it’s very hurtful to see someone, who was an amazing part of your life at some point, change so much…like SO much!


Posted by on March 5, 2012 in Rant


love the music video…

Not a big fan of the song though…

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Posted by on February 10, 2012 in Uncategorized


My Positive Psych. adventure!

I’m a huge fan of Tal Ben Shahar.

As a carefree teenager who didn’t know too much about life, I always considered philosophy and psychology as nothing more than ‘BOOrrringg!’ And here I’m realizing what they really mean.

I attended a psychology lecture at university today and it reminded of the amazing journey I went through while I watched Tal Ben’s lectures about two years ago. I was going through some really rough time back then..depression, confusion..ambivalence..

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a proper torrent file of the lectures else I would have put it up here. The file that is available has audio problem.

I realized I have been giving a very pathetic impression lately to my blog readers. One must be saying ‘My God! That is one disturbed sad blogger!’ I hope I’m wrong..! But after reading my posts I can only say – ‘My God! I sound like one disturbed sad blogger!’..hehe! So, I’ll try to work on it from here on.

I’ll end this post from the notes I took during Tal ben shahar’s Positive Psychology Lecture – 1

Lecture 1:

The course:

– Becoming Happ’ier’. Most available material (Self-books, articles etc.) – “Over promising and under delivering” – Lacking substance.

– More about Transformation than Information.
*Transformation*: Same objective Information, Different Interpretation
Example: Losing a game.
1. ‘I lost.’ Sad. Devastated.
2. ‘I lost. Okay, so what have I learned?’ Taken as a learning experience.

Knowledge is about Information. Wisdom is about Transformation.

We all have potential which has been suppressed by external voices in our culture (society), limitations(fear etc.).

– Active note taking during class. Apply ideas presented in class.

– Time in – Embracing stillness. Time to look inside. Quite wakeful introspection. Helps learning and remembering. Silence – ‘A medium for learning of the deepest sort’

– There is no WOW factor. Nothing new. A lot is common sense. “Common sense is not that common” – Voltaire. Constant reminder of what you already knew within you.

– Effort.

– First force: Behaviorism – Humans are a collection of behaviors. Like billiard balls being knocked around by reinforcement, punishment and reward.

– Second force: Humanistic Psych. – We are much more. We have spirit, soul, cognition.

Psycho analysis – Understanding humans Eg: defense mechanisms to negative emotions etc.

– Third force: Positive Psych.: Evolved from the non-methodological Humanistic Psych.

Abraham Maslow (Self-actualization); Karen Horney (said – look at the fine human qualities and work on them); Aaron Antonovsky** (introduced Salutogenesis – Origin of Health); Marty Seligman (had 2 aims: Introduce positive psych. and make it accessible); Langer; Philip Stone.

Question of questions:
“Are you Happy?” is a wrong question. “Yes/No” a wrong answer. Happiness cannot be rated on a scale. There is no Happy or Unhappy. Happiness is continuum. There has to be a comparison. You are either Happier/Less happy than you were at a certain time in life (past) or as compared to another individual/s.

Simplicity on the other side of Complexity. Everything, no matter how complex, can be simplified and understood. This Simplicity is different from what is just ‘simple’.

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Posted by on February 9, 2012 in Rant


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Drowned in depths of quietude, abandoned by glee,
while they found a reason to laugh at me.
Wearied hopes for the perennial quest,
entombed past put to test.
Conceal this plea, it was never heard,
to them it’s spurious by every word.
Rusting bygone as theirs shine,
what is asked for just isn’t mine.

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Posted by on January 30, 2012 in Poetry


Distractions or digressions?

Is it a sin to love..? to care? Life has given me reasons to say – It must be..

You keep telling yourself – try to forget, there is so much more to be looked after. You make after another…on and on but you keep coming back to the same place. The place where you have some beautiful moments carefully painted on the canvas of your memory. It’s so hard to let them go..but you know letting them go is the only way through. Keeping them with you leaves you in misery..a little bit more each day.

I have seen a lover cry after losing what was all his. I have seen blood bonds torn apart for everything monetary. I have seen a friend give reasons to another to lose faith in friendship…

I don’t know if my past wants to linger in my present. Or is it that my present digresses to the past…wanting to make sense of the ashes left behind…wanting a reason to forget and be happy..

“If I had to lose a mile
If I had to touch feelings
I would lose my soul
The way I do”


Posted by on January 16, 2012 in Rant



Decipher this haunting silence
left behind by the long forgotten ordeal
buried tale of romantic violence
a lot said, a lot yet to reveal 

Bliss of innocence time fails to portray
Hid in a cocoon of insanity
Nothing more than a reason to betray
marked the end of vanity

Out of reasons to run or pretend
as aging waves wash shores of mind
time to see, time to amend
but rue is all that’s there of find

Entangled emotions seek a place
None to give..none to steal
gripping hope with every pace..
a lot said, a lot to reveal.


Posted by on January 15, 2012 in Poetry


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Difference between Cushing’s Sign and Cushing’s Reflex

Cushing’s Sign also goes by the name Cushing’s Triad.
It is a late sign of increased intracranial pressure and is defined by three signs:
1. Hypertension
2. Bradycardia
3. Irregular breathing

It occurs whenever something occupies the already limited space in the skull. The space can be occupied by:
1. Blood – As seen in cerebrovascular accidents that result in bleeding (cerebral hemorrhage due to ruptured aneurysm or trauma)
2. Enlarging lesion – Brain tumor
The pressure on the brain tissue causes it to shift across the structures within the skull (this is called brain herniation). This can be rapidly fatal.

Cushing’s sign should be suspected in any person who has had a recent head injury, a recent brain surgery or shows sudden altered level of consciousness.

Cushing’s Reflex goes by a lot of names – Cushing’s Effect, Cushing’s Reaction, Cushing’s Phenomenon even Cushing’s Law!
As is the case with any other reflex, Cushing’s reflex is a physiologic response. It is a physiologic response to increased intracranial pressure via the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.
It has four stages that can be briefly described as follows:

The body tries to increase blood supply to the brain – Stage 1 is due to sympathetic system activation leading to tachycardia and hypertension.
Baroreceptors respond to the sympathetic system activation – Stage 2 is due to parasympathetic system activation leading to bradycardia.
Stage 3 and 4 involves irregularity in breathing caused by functional abnormality of the brainstem due to the increased intracranial pressure, tachycardia and bradycardia.

The bottom line – Cushing’s Sign occurs as a result of Cushing’s Reflex.

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Posted by on January 7, 2012 in Medical


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